Received: by purdue.ARPA; Wed, 3 Jul 85 21:25:14 EST Date: Wed, 3 Jul 85 20:37:56 est From: ihnp4!purdue!iuvax!wagle (Perry Wagle) To: ut-sally!kelvin Subject: "perfect" review. "geez..."
From lsmith@h-sc1.UUCP (Liz Smith) Thu Jul 4 08:19:42 1985 Subject: Re: Kelvin Thompson Reviews !!!! Organization: Harvard Univ. Science Center > > Thanks again Kelvin for another hillarious movie review! > Your tongue-in-cheek style reminds me of a columnist for > the Houston Post that I used to read regularly and enjoyed > immensely. Your -1984- review was the best but the -Star Wars- > was pretty good. And the _Perfect_ one was pretty funny also . . . Liz Smith
From jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) Thu Jul 4 00:14:24 1985 Subject: Re: _Perfect_ (spoiler) Organization: Relational Technology, Alameda CA > > > _Perfect_ > > by Kelvin Thompson > > It can only be that, in an enviornment of total gratification, the only > pleasure left her is the cold, Orwellian thrill of stepping on the > helpless. ^^^^^^^^^ Ah! So he *has* heard of Orwell! -- Jeff Lichtman at rtech (Relational Technology, Inc.) aka Swazoo Koolak
From jimc@haddock.UUCP Wed Jul 3 18:01:00 1985
Subject: Re: _Perfect_ (spoiler)
OK, gang, he let it slip. Kelvin Thompson used the term
"Orwellian" in this review, and I have not heard of anyone using
that word without having heard of the book *1984*. Apparently
he's been playing with our minds in publishing all these bogus
reviews. So, what do we have here? The obvious plot of
*Perfect* is to follow John Travolta's pursuit of a career goal
and the personal entanglements which result. Obviously, the
movie is not meant to be a means by which "nerds" can find sexual
gratification in laying eye on Jamie Lee Curtis's gorgeous body.
Again, I have to hand it to you, Kelvin; not since Thomas Hardy
have I seen anyone take such pains to sustain such dry satire. I
must say it is quite impressive. I get a good laugh every time I
read one of these things. At first, that review of *1984* had me
very confused. Then came that review of *Star Wars* and boy!
what a hoot! I have a feeling he gave us that one just to tell
us what's been going on. Now we have this review of *Perfect*.
I think I'm going to start saving these reviews in my
miscellaneous directory.
You know, I think this is all funny enough for him to put together
an anthology of sorts, a la Leonard Maltin's.
Jim Campbell
...!{ihnp4, allegra, harvard}!ima!haddock!jimc
From render@uiucdcsb.Uiuc.ARPA Mon Jul 8 10:44:00 1985
Subject: Re: _Perfect_ (spoiler)
jimc@haddock writes regarding Kelvin Thompson:
> You know, I think this is all funny enough for him to put together
> an anthology of sorts, a la Leonard Maltin's.
Boy, I hope THIS is satire. Where is Joe Bob Briggs when you need him?
"But I guess I'm just stating the very obvious (shutup! shutup!...)"
Hal Render
From kre@ucbvax.ARPA (Robert Elz) Sat Jul 6 03:10:13 1985
Subject: Kelvin Thompson's June reviews, summary of followups
Organization: University of California at Berkeley
For the amusement of many of you, and I hope the gross embarassment
of others, here is a list of the reviews posted by Kelvin Thompson
in the past month or so, and the followups they generated.
I have two purposes, one to give people a pointer to the reviews
so they may be able to reread any that they missed, or didn't
realize were satirical. (Kelvin's articles are marked "<<<<<").
The other is to try to partially cure the terminal in mouth
disease that seems to affect the net. Remember the net guidelines.
THINK before posting a followup. Probably many of the people
on this list might have noticed the satire in the reviews had they
bothered to read them more carefully before letting fly.
I have marked the articles from people who detected the satire with "****".
The list is in chronological order of posting, it is possible (but
by no means sure) that the posters of articles lower on the list
could have read the earlier ones. Towards the end, of course,
everyone realized what was going on, how many actually determined
it for themselves, and how many were woken up by the earlier
postings we will never know.
Robert Elz ucbvax!kre
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) Futurekill -- a BAD movie <<<<<
<2059@ut-sally.UUCP> 6 Jun 85 03:52:14 GMT
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) _Return_of_the_Soldier_ <<<<<<
<2073@ut-sally.UUCP> 9 Jun 85 07:33:28 GMT
iltis@ucsbcsl.UUCP ( ) _Return_of_the_Soldier_
<310@ucsbcsl.UUCP> 12 Jun 85 16:48:00 GMT (taken in)
kilian@pbsvax.DEC (Michael Kilian) _Return_of_the_Soldier_ (Spoiler)
<2648@decwrl.UUCP> 12 Jun 85 20:57:11 GMT (taken in)
jpexg@mit-hermes.ARPA (John Purbrick) _Return_of_the_Soldier_ (Spoiler)
<2422@mit-hermes.ARPA> 14 Jun 85 16:45:24 GMT
(followup to previous followup, taken in I think)
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) _1984_ (spoiler) <<<<<<
<2107@ut-sally.UUCP> 15 Jun 85 03:15:38 GMT
julian@osu-eddie.UUCP (Julian Gomez) _1984_ (spoiler)
<391@osu-eddie.UUCP> 15 Jun 85 23:52:38 GMT (taken in)
ck@ima.UUCP _1984_ (spoiler)
<23300003@ima.UUCP> 16 Jun 85 05:03:00 GMT
anton@ucbvax.ARPA (Jeff Anton) _1984_ (spoiler)
<8224@ucbvax.ARPA> 16 Jun 85 18:59:04 GMT (taken in)
terryl@tekcrl.UUCP _1984_ (spoiler)
<167@tekcrl.UUCP> 16 Jun 85 20:35:44 GMT (taken in)
mff@wuphys.UUCP (Mark Flynn) _1984_ (spoiler)
<295@wuphys.UUCP> 16 Jun 85 21:33:00 GMT (taken in)
csdf@mit-vax.UUCP (csdf) _1984_ Critique of Critique (spoiler)
<225@mit-vax.UUCP> 16 Jun 85 23:24:23 GMT (taken in)
cs1@oddjob.UUCP (Cheryl Stewart) _1984_ (spoiler)
<799@oddjob.UUCP> 17 Jun 85 08:18:21 GMT (unclear, probably taken in)
mason@pneuma.DEC (ANDREA) You've got to be kidding...I hope! ******
<2719@decwrl.UUCP> 17 Jun 85 13:19:01 GMT (saw through it)
neal@fear.UUCP (Neal Bedard) _1984_, ut-sally rides again
<196@fear.UUCP> 17 Jun 85 22:17:17 GMT (taken in)
nunes@utai.UUCP (Joe Nunes) _1984_ ******
<573@utai.UUCP> 18 Jun 85 14:52:20 GMT (saw through it)
pooh@ut-sally.UUCP (Pooh @ the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen)
RAMBO--For Your Cogitating Pleasure
<2133@ut-sally.UUCP> 19 Jun 85 16:08:59 GMT
(Is this another in the same sequence?
Certainly its another satire from UT)
jeff@rtech.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman) _1984_ (spoiler)
<497@rtech.UUCP> 20 Jun 85 06:14:47 GMT (taken in)
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) _My_New_Partner_ (spoiler) <<<<<<
<2157@ut-sally.UUCP> 21 Jun 85 02:41:31 GMT
elf@utcsri.UUCP (Eugene Fiume) _My_New_Partner_ (spoiler) ******
<1200@utcsri.UUCP> 23 Jun 85 20:44:20 GMT (saw through it)
reiher@ucla-cs.UUCP _My_New_Partner_ (spoiler)
<6112@ucla-cs.ARPA> 23 Jun 85 21:33:18 GMT (taken in)
sas@leadsv.UUCP (Scott Stewart) _1984_ (spoiler)
<485@leadsv.UUCP> 24 Jun 85 15:51:51 GMT (taken in)
moriarty@fluke.UUCP (Jeff Meyer) _My_New_Partner_ and nasty subliminal messages
<743@vax2.fluke.UUCP> 24 Jun 85 16:42:22 GMT (taken in)
wendt@bocklin.UUCP _1984_ (spoiler)
<225@bocklin.UUCP> 25 Jun 85 01:00:13 GMT (taken in)
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) <<<<<<
<2202@ut-sally.UUCP> 27 Jun 85 06:44:04 GMT
johnw@astroatc.UUCP _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<164@astroatc.UUCP> 27 Jun 85 20:22:12 GMT (taken in)
thiel@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Stephen W. Thiel) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<1922@ut-ngp.UTEXAS> 28 Jun 85 02:41:26 GMT (saw through it, note, ut)
dje@petrus.UUCP _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<384@petrus.UUCP> 28 Jun 85 18:03:40 GMT (taken in)
csdf@mit-vax.UUCP (Charles Forsythe) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<285@mit-vax.UUCP> 28 Jun 85 21:34:56 GMT (taken in)
cramer@kontron.UUCP (Clayton Cramer) _My_New_Partner_ (spoiler)
<302@kontron.UUCP> 29 Jun 85 00:11:45 GMT (taken in)
barmar@mit-eddie.UUCP (Barry Margolin) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<4571@mit-eddie.UUCP> 29 Jun 85 05:15:19 GMT (saw through it)
lsmith@h-sc1.UUCP (Liz Smith) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<408@h-sc1.UUCP> 29 Jun 85 15:29:28 GMT (saw through it)
masuma@drupa.UUCP (Masuma Rahman) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<999@drupa.UUCP> 29 Jun 85 19:54:26 GMT (taken in)
root@trwatf.UUCP (Lord Frith) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<1020@trwatf.UUCP> 30 Jun 85 18:19:13 GMT (taken in)
armstron@sjuvax.UUCP (L. Armstrong) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<1186@sjuvax.UUCP> 1 Jul 85 20:47:45 GMT (taken in)
billha@azure.UUCP (Bill Hansen) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler)
<319@azure.UUCP> 1 Jul 85 21:19:12 GMT (taken in, possibly)
lew@leadsv.UUCP (Lyle E. Wilkinson) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<499@leadsv.UUCP> 2 Jul 85 14:26:19 GMT (saw through it)
jims@hcrvax.UUCP (Jim Sullivan) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<1848@hcrvax.UUCP> 2 Jul 85 21:33:52 GMT (saw through it)
wmartin@brl-tgr.ARPA (Will Martin ) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<11365@brl-tgr.ARPA> 2 Jul 85 19:52:05 GMT (saw through it)
allynh@ucbvax.ARPA (Allyn Hardyck) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<8707@ucbvax.ARPA> 3 Jul 85 01:16:06 GMT (saw through it)
jsdy@hadron.UUCP (Joseph S. D. Yao) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<216@hadron.UUCP> 3 Jul 85 02:58:56 GMT (saw through it)
kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) _Perfect_ (spoiler) <<<<<<
<2248@ut-sally.UUCP> 3 Jul 85 05:50:22 GMT
goodrum@unc.UUCP (Cloyd Goodrum) _Star_Wars_ (spoiler) ******
<538@unc.UUCP> 3 Jul 85 22:26:37 GMT (saw through it)
jimc@haddock.UUCP _Perfect_ (spoiler) *****
<13900046@haddock.UUCP> 3 Jul 85 23:01:00 GMT (saw through it)
Date: Fri, 5 Jul 85 10:57:46 cdt From: mercury@ut-ngp.UTEXAS.ARPA (Larry E. Baker) To: ut-sally!kelvin Subject: Re: _Perfect_ (spoiler) [] Kelvin, I am assuming that your "reviews" are parodies of the "reviews" that periodically appear on the net. Are they? Did I mis-interpret your first STAR WARS review? IF THEY ARE, I, personally do not find them all that humourous, although I do not object, as they are a rather accurate commentary on the kind of drivel I see posted (occasionally) as "serious" reviews. Just my opinion, tho.
From render@uiucdcsb.Uiuc.ARPA Fri Jul 12 11:30:00 1985
Subject: Okay, enough already!
I know I'm going to regret this, but I have to say it in defense of all those
"oh so serious" people who complained about Kelvin Thompson's first few
reviews. I was taken in because, sadly enough, it was not hard for me to
believe that there are people dumb enough to write reviews such as his that
are meant to be serious. After living in a number of places, I have decided
that the limits of human ignorance knows no geographical or physical bounds.
Almost any idea or viewpoint to which the average person would respond,
"That's gotta be a joke..." is actually NOT a joke. I still don't find
Thompson's reviews that clever, let alone funny. I am, however, not as
upset as when I thought that Mr. Thompson was a crazed weasal with access to
a net port. Unfortunately I now have to contend with all of the people who
must publicly reveal that they were in on the joke from the beginning. It
must be the "Ha Ha, I got it and you didn't" syndrome. From now on, let's
all of us try to focus on the movies that are out and not on the opinions
of various reviewers, shall we? (Though I still miss Joe Bob Briggs.)
"Don't laugh, Monkey Boy!"
Hal Render
From reza@ihuxb.UUCP (Reza Taheri) Tue Jul 9 13:32:29 1985 Subject: Re: _Star_Wars_ (really K. Thompson) Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories >In article <2202@ut-sally.UUCP> kelvin@ut-sally.UUCP (Kelvin Thompson) writes: >> >OK, we've all gotten the "joke", such as it is. Now go back to net.flame where >people appreciate such subtle (and yet totally unamusing) humor. And, while >we're at it, one "m" in Mark Hamill's name, and they were his aunt and uncle, >not his parents. Or is that part of the joke, too? > >My suggestion to everyone else: ignore kelvin and he will go away. From now >on, I certainly intend to follow this advice. Long discussions about him will >merely make kelvin feel clever, despite all evidence to the contrary. Praise e >to rn, which has features allowing me to cancel all articles by foolish author >-- > Peter Reiher Although I highly respect Peter's opinion as a movie critic, I think he is missing the point in Kelvin's articles. There is nothing wrong with a humorous posting once in a while. The problem is not with Kelvin's sense of humor or even his idea of a good time. The problem is that a lot of people (including me) were fooled by his "1984" and "Partner" reviews and posted long articles attacking him (not me). Now everybody has to come out of the woodwork and declare that they truly know that Kelvin's reviews are all posted in jest. Don't ban/chastise/ignore Kelvin. Instead, stop posting articles telling the world that you know what he is up to, and start ignoring such articles posted by others. H. Reza Taheri
Date: 6 Jul 85 02:30:08 CDT (Sat) To: ut-sally!kelvin Subject: Gotcha! You write in net.movies: > It can only be that, in an enviornment of total gratification, the only > pleasure left her is the cold, Orwellian thrill of stepping on the > helpless. So a reviewer who never heard of _1984_ knows the term "Orwellian"? Okay, it's clear by now that you have been pulling net.movies's collective leg. It should also be clear that net.movies does not appreciate it. The topics may get a bit flaky at times but it is on the whole a serious group. So posting the kind of thing you have been posting merely wastes everybody's time and the net's money, when people who expect people to mean what they say post many instances of the same reply. It is time you read the netiquette document in net.announce.newusers -- or reread it, as the case may be. SOMEBODY will ALWAYS take you seriously on the net, and what you are doing is abuse. Ever hear the term "Shouting 'fire' in a crowded theater"? If this mail also goes unanswered the next complaint will be to your site administrator. Mark Brader ihnp4!utzoo!lsuc!msb
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 85 17:31:30 pdt From: ihnp4!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!stanford (Stanford N Payzer) To: ut-sally!kelvin Subject: Re: WARNING!! Bravo! Thanks for another well thought out review. And also for keeping another compsci nerd from being taken in by PERFECT.
Date: Wed, 10 Jul 85 00:24:22 pdt
Subject: Re: _Perfect_ (spoiler)
To: ut-sally!kelvin
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc., Everett, WA
Please!! Continue! These are the funniest damn things I've read since Ardnt
hit the net!
"In the end, it will be the insects who rule the earth."
-Noted scientist
"In the end, who cares?"
-Remo Williams
"End? What end? You whites will be with us forever."
-Chiun, Master of Sinanju
Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
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